To those who say they hate autism….
You say it loud and clearly that you hate, resent, and even despise autism.
That you hate autism for robbing your child of a normal life.
That you hate autism for not giving your child a voice.
That autism took everything good away from you…like your holiday gatherings, your
vacations, your friends, your family, even your spouse.
To you that was all autism.
You will also state that your child may have autism but it’s not who they are.
You will speak of autism as if it was a disease that should be avoided at all costs for the
better of the child and their family.
You canvass causes in search of answers and entertain treatments that may benefit your
child and their future, at almost any price.
All this you will undertake because of your love for your child….. I can see that.
I can also see the hurt and sometimes tears in my son’s eyes when he catches a glimpse of
someone
Watching him with a look of despair or even disgust.
They are not really see him but rather his autism. That person doesn’t see my son the
autistic,
Who is auto-regulating the best he can. That my son is present in the moment
So that he can be a part of the decision making during our outings.
That person only sees suffering, the unusual, the odd and the un-normal.
That person will offer sympathy for what we are going through but holds out little support
for us and even less hope.
I see pain in my heart when someone says to me that they are sorry, when I mention
That I have an autistic son as if I have lost something…as if I am grieving.
I see the tears in my spouse’s eyes because someone has said that they don’t think
That they would be able to be a parent to an autistic child
And they don’t know how we do it….as if parenting has limits.
Those tears and pains are for us but they are also
For every child who is different, in any way.
They will live a Life knowing that their parents, wouldn’t have wanted them to be the way
they are.
Their parents love them but they don’t love their differences.
Even if those negative words never reach the children’s ears,
They will know how their parents truly feel.
No matter how sever the differences may be,
They will understand their parents’ sentiments.
They will know.
They will grow up to be adults with questions about their worth… I know this because I am
listening,
Listen to adults with differences.
I hear the words of those adults.
I see the battles they face.
The medical battles.
The education battles.
The legal battles.
The psychological and emotional battles.
The most disconcerting battles that I witness every day are the indifference, the prejudism
and the lack of inclusion…these battles are about who they are, their rights and their value.
These battles are faced every single day with no weekends, holidays or vacations.
They are encountered everywhere; be it stores, hospitals, schools, even within their own
families.
They face these denigrations with valor and a price to their being.
They understand the need to oppose these struggles regardless of the damage it may cause
them.
I have seen the wounds left behind.
They have weathered many storms defending their differences.
It is all in the name of love, for themselves, their children and even the child of those who
hate autism.
I have witnessed the love, compassion and bravery with which they guard the future of all
who are different.
I know that the world is changing, that understanding is growing and that acceptance, true
acceptance is attainable.
So to that parent that hates autism …. Soon, you will be a minority.
-Rosemarie Carreiro
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